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A God Who SuppliesI received the Lord and began to seek Him when I was in high school. I met with a small group of Christians and saw some significant change in their lives and my own, but after about a year, our progress seemed to stop. Because this group was very fundamental, I attended a very liberal college thinking perhaps I would find something more real there, but eventually became even more discouraged. I married a believer in Christ, continued to go to church, read the Bible occasionally, and by outward appearances was a “good” Christian, but inwardly I knew I was going nowhere. In 1968 my husband received orders from Vietnam. He was a medic assigned to fly “medivac” with one chance in four of coming home the way he left, if at all. Five days before he left, our first son was born, critically ill with a rare blood disorder. Try as I might I could not feel anything but confusion and despair toward the Lord. I believed He wanted me to give Him the two dearest people in my life. My husband found me on my knees in the middle of the night sobbing and telling the Lord that I couldn't do it. Some friends had given us Watchman Nee's book, Sit, Walk, Stand and my husband began to share with me from that book. I will never forget his words, “The Lord doesn't want you to do anything. He just wants to be your supply.” The light I received at that time was really a new beginning in my Christian life. Prayer, praise and love flowed out of me; I couldn't contain it. I would sing and pray during the day-softly when others were around so I wouldn't disturb them, louder when I was alone and softly again in the night when I woke up. I was so full of joy to know this life-giving, supplying One and I wanted more. My husband left for Vietnam and as soon as the baby was well enough to travel I packed our few belongings and drove 1000 miles to be with the believers who had given us that book. I had known them for about four years and was quite surprised to see how much they had changed in the last few years. I'd never seen Christians “grow” much. When they spoke I would be nourished with something of Christ. I had been afraid of losing the fresh touch I had with the Lord, but instead found they encouraged me to seek Him even more. I began to read a book by a co-worker of Watchman Nee called The Economy of God that said God created man with a human spirit and this is how we can contact Him. At first I was very skeptical, but when I began to regularly call on the name of the Lord as Stephen did in Acts 7:59 and to pray while reading the word, I learned to touch the Lord regularly and purposefully. This One who wants to be my life supply became very accessible. I have been enjoying and receiving the supply of life that has come to me through so many believers, including particularly Watchman Nee and Witness Lee. I loved those brothers when they were on the earth and I still love them. I am very much indebted to them because of the Christ they ministered to me. Our Lord is so rich. I have never experienced a day where there was a lack of spiritual food to eat. There is more available than I could ever exhaust. That however was only the beginning. The more I receive Him as my supply, the more I share His desire that His need could be met for a counterpart, a loving bride through the believers being built up together as one, to bring in His kingdom and utterly and eternally defeat His enemy. Sherlon Orth | Back to List |
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